My beloved Grandpa Leon Thurman Scroggins died on February 6th,
2014, in the
early afternoon. He was an urban homesteader before that was even a
thing. My earliest farm- and garden-related
memories involve my grandparents’ home in
Denair, CA. There were single tomatoes that overflowed from my two hands
held together and peaches so warm and juicy that I had to eat them outside and
rinse off before being allowed in. As memory serves, Grandpa
picked them with something fashioned out of a broomstick and an old tin can
with a side cut out.
Working with the CCC at Carlsbad Ca |
He returned
to Texas after the war, but there wasn’t work to be had so he hitchhiked
out. The week he died, the East Coast experienced terrible weather and he
teased, “I sure am glad that first ride was heading west.” He landed in
Madera, CA and met Dessie Mae Fuller. Just a few months ago, Grandpa was
telling me about this and said he was in pretty rough shape, but Dessie loved
him and took him in. They were married shortly after meeting and had one
daughter, my mother Joice. I did not know Dessie but my mother described
Grandpa as very sweet and affectionate with her. I can believe it.
He took work as a truck driver and made a good life for his family
driving milk trucks throughout the Central Valley and San Francisco Bay Area.
Grandpa was widowed at the age of 51 when Dessie died. He was
steadfast in his love and caring for her until the end of her life.
Grandpa was lost after Dessie died and my mom encouraged him to check out the Modesto Single’s Club. There he met Evelyn Saffer Vessel, a widow as well. They caused a bit of a ruckus when, in August 1972, they off and eloped just weeks after meeting. Evelyn had five grown sons and Grandpa says they weren’t too sure about him at first, but in time they became his family, too. He told me often, “I married Evelyn, but then I got all these others, too... a real big family.” He counted it as a blessing. Between the two of them they had 6 kids, 16 grandkids, at least 25 great-grandkids and at least 3 great-great-grandkids.
Leon, Dessie, and Joice-late 1952 or early 1953 |
Leon, Dessie, and Joice |
Leon's Milk Truck |
Leon and Evelyn early in their marriage |
When
Grandpa retired in 1982, they moved to a smaller home in the town of Turlock
and spent time at yard sales, flea markets, and road trips to visit family in
California, Oregon, Arizona, and Texas. They ate Total cereal for
breakfast, and enjoyed lunch out nearly every day. At first they had a
fondness for Burger King, but discovered Jack in the Box on Lander when it
opened in the early ’90s and made that their habit. When they decided to
stop driving, they took to walking to Jack in the Box as long as the weather
permitted. That walk was his favorite part of his day and he did so until
just three days before he died. He’d go down, have lunch, and spend time
with friends. Grandpa never fought against aging or wallowed over the
perceived loss of freedoms. He just shifted his routines and came up with
plan to do things differently.
After 34
years of marriage, Grandpa was widowed again when Evelyn died in 2006. My
mother moved in to help make sure he could stay comfortably in his home.
He discovered that being an octogenarian then nonagenarian came with some
perks. Everyone would take a minute to chat with him, and he could get a
hug from just about anyone. He fancied himself a flirt and loved to chat
with the ladies at the doctor’s office, on the bus, at the lab, around the
neighborhood, and, of course, Jack in the Box. True to form, the last
words my mom heard him say were to a young EMT when, with a little smile and a
twinkle in his eye, he said, “You sure are pretty.”
I will
carry with me countless memories and phenomenally wise and witty things he said
including:
-His presence at my graduations
-Him meeting my two children
-His always forgiving embrace no matter how long it had been since
we’d seen each other
-His concern about me giving up a union job at Thrifty’s to go to
college, followed with, “Well, I guess she’s got to get all the schooling she
can.”
-His response to a brand-new car breaking down, “Well, I guess
that don’t matter much that it’s new.”
-His reply to my tears when I saw him just two days before his death, “I’m not afraid to die, hon.”
-The last words he always said to me, “I love you.”
He was not afraid to live or die and did so on his terms. He entered into the last days and hours of his life with grace and good humor. I love him and miss him terribly.
Grandpa with me as a newborn |
Grandpa Leon meeting Robert Leon |
Getting a closer look |
Catching Victoria as she'd run down the hall into his arms
Getting on the floor to play with Robbie and Victoria December, 2013 |